The Burning Hanukkah Bush

Growing up, my sister and I were the only two Jewish kids living in our small Mississippi town. All of our Gentile friends had Christmas trees, so we thought it would be a good idea to have a Hanukkah Bush, so as not to feel left out. I know, I know, don’t tell me: there’s no such thing as a Hanukkah Bush. I get it, alright? Still, Christmas can be a lonely time for poor Jewish boys. My sister and I were not going to let ourselves be outdone by anybody. So I devised a story to one-up my goyish friends.
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What I Learned In Chemistry Class: Orgasm and Beat Your Meat

My junior year Chemistry class was taught by Mrs. Raymond:  a prim and proper older lady who dressed very frumpy.   Mrs. Raymond took Chemistry very seriously.  Unfortunately, Mrs. Raymond had Jimmy Farmer in the class.  Jimmy was on the twenty year program to graduate from high school.  He was forced to take each class at least twice before they would pass him.  That was alright with Jimmy though.  Jimmy believed if he had to take a class twice, at least he would get noticed and stand out.

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